


Dennis Reynolds: Dick Chugger

by SkyRose



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Coming Out, Complicated Relationships, Happy Ending, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Tenderness, the truth come out: does dennis reynolds is gay?, too much serious emotions for a fic with dick chugger in the title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyRose/pseuds/SkyRose
Summary: “No, we’re not — I mean, I am gay, but he’s not my — Dennis is straight!” Mac rambled, his hands flailing in front of him.Yogurt Guy stared for a moment before bursting into laughter. When Mac and Dennis stayed silent, he quickly subsided his laughter. “Oh, you’re not joking?”“Why would I be joking?” Mac exasperated.Or: A routine grocery shopping trip sends Mac spinning with questions and Dennis reflecting on his past.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 7
Kudos: 172





	Dennis Reynolds: Dick Chugger

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this started out as a dumb fic idea to build upon the throwaway "i chug dick" joke in Reignites the Rivalry and Mac's iconic line from Charlie Gets Molested but because Dennis Reynolds is a homosexual fiend this turned into something much longer and much more complicated than anticipated. I did not expect my first fic of 2020 to be nearly 5k. but here we are.
> 
> I do plan to write a ton more macden because I seriously feel like I could write a goddamn novel about them. There's so much to their relationship it makes my head spin.
> 
> And just to be clear: there's a lot of discussions around oral sex but no actual oral sex takes place in this fic. I shall save it for another time.
> 
> Anyway, this is stupid and ridiculous, much like the show, so enjoy!!!!!!

10:00 am

On a Thursday

Philadelphia, PA

Mac noticed the way Dennis’ shoulders tensed as they rounded the corner to the dairy section. He was staring at a fellow customer with a yogurt cup in his hand. Mac looked the guy up and down, searching for any sign of a threat. He was an average looking man within their age range, not ugly but nothing noteworthy either. Probably married to a nice broad with two or three kids.

“What’s wrong, dude?” Mac asked as they continued their journey to the cheese section, because Charlie had visited their apartment a few days ago and they needed to restock in case he popped by again. Yogurt Guy paid no attention to them as they approached him. Mac and Dennis rarely went grocery shopping together. They usually traded off, but Frank and Charlie were off on a scheme involving peeling fruit and neither felt like going to the bar alone with only Dee as company.

“Nothing,” Dennis hissed. 

Yogurt Guy glanced up at Dennis’ voice, locking eyes with him. His eyebrows rose and a grin spread across his face. “Dennis Reynolds? Is that you?”

Dennis forced a laugh, causing Mac’s shoulders to tense as well. “The one and only!” he exclaimed, gesturing to himself with a smile. 

“God damn, never thought I’d see you again,” Yogurt Guy replied. “You ever make it to veterinary school?”

Dennis shook his head, blue eyes ablaze as he clearly held back anger. Not that Yogurt Guy noticed. Mac did, of course. “Nope. I own a bar now, actually.”

“Wow, that’s awesome,” Yogurt Guy stated.

“Well, we own it together,” Mac cut in, feeling left out of the conversation for too long. Dennis threw him a look that meant Mac had just said the wrong thing.

“I see,” Yogurt Guy responded politely. “Are you Dennis’ husband?”

Dennis’ face was turning red at this point, which meant Mac went into defuse mood. “No, we’re not — I mean, I am gay, but he’s not my — Dennis is straight!” Mac rambled, his hands flailing in front of him.

Yogurt Guy stared for a moment before bursting into laughter. When Mac and Dennis stayed silent, he quickly subsided his laughter. “Oh, you’re not joking?”

“Why would I be joking?” Mac exasperated. Dennis was of no help. He was staring at the floor with his fingers digging into his thighs.

“Dennis earned the nickname Dick Chugger in college for a reason,” Yogurt Guy chuckled, although his voice had taken on an awkward edge to it. “He blew every guy in the frat.”

Mac’s gaze snapped to Dennis, who was now full-on glaring at Yogurt Guy. “It wasn’t _every_ guy. A-and I am straight! I am! That was just some, y’know, some college experimenting!” Dennis exclaimed.

“Whoa, relax, Reynolds,” Yogurt Guy said. “To be honest, it was the best head I’ve ever had.”

Dennis’ jaw dropped. “It was?”

“Definitely. You were a legend to everyone!” 

Dennis’ shoulders relaxed. “I was?”

Dee had the bar to herself for a few sweet, sweet hours before the gang began to trickle in. First it was Charlie, who explained a plan involving banana peels that Frank concocted. Frank wasn’t with him and Dee didn’t bother to ask where he was. She didn’t care. Mac was next, sporting a frown and a lack of a loud entrance.

“Hey Mac!” Charlie greeted with a wave.

Mac grunted in response, dropping down into the open stool next to Charlie.

Dee and Charlie exchanged a look, both noticing the harsh way Mac’s eyebrows were pulled together and the almost audible ticking of the gears in his empty head.

“What’s up?” Dee prompted, leaning over the bar. “Where’s Dennis?”

Mac glanced up at her. “Oh, he’s dropping off the groceries at our apartment.”

“And you didn’t go with?” Dee asked. Dennis rarely let Mac run off when there were chores to be done.

“No,” Mac confirmed. “He was in a good mood… offered to do it all himself.”

Mac’s gaze was distant. Dee set a beer in front of him because he looked like he needed one. He often did, when it came to situations involving Dee’s manipulative brother. Mac took a few long gulps before setting down the bottle with a relieved sigh.

“The weirdest thing happened while we were shopping,” Mac began, and Dee got into a comfortable position because she knew this was going to be a long one. “We ran into this guy, I think he was in the same frat as Dennis, but I’m not sure. He never properly introduced himself, the jerk. Dennis got so weird when he spotted him, then they start talking and I could tell Dennis was getting annoyed so I decide to jump in and talk for a bit, right?”

“Right,” Charlie said immediately.

“But then the guy thinks me and Dennis are a couple, which is far from the first time. Anyway, I gracefully explain the truth and the guy starts _laughing._ I thought Dennis was gonna explode! Then the guy starts talking about some nickname Dennis had in college—”

“Dick Chugger,” Dee interrupted with a smile on her face.

“Yeah, Dick Chugger. The guy said Dennis blew the entire frat and that’s ridiculous! I mean, that would mean Dennis has gotten more gay action than me and I’m actually gay! The guy had to be lying but Dennis never directly denied the accusations so I feel super lost.”

“No, that’s true,” Charlie confirmed. 

“What? How do you know about this?” Mac demanded.

“When we visited him during his freshman year!” Charlie shouted.

“We never visited Dennis!”

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Yes, we did. You got blackout drunk at the frat party and hit your head trying to dive into the pool. You forgot the entire week because of it.”

“Huh.”

“We heard all about Dennis’, uh, _skills,”_ Charlie explained. “Dennis even tried to blow me, but then you cracked your head open so we had to go to the hospital which was a total mood-killer, not that I wanted—”

“Dennis tried what?” Mac asked, his voice jumping up an octave.

“He tried to _orally pleasure_ me,” Charlie repeated slowly.

“No no no!” Mac exclaimed. “My best friends did not almost have sex.”

“Sorry, man,” Charlie said with a shrug. “It was super weird. He was just trying to get me to relax—”

“I don’t want details!” Mac shouted. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I _did_ ,” Charlie replied. “Guess it didn’t stick in your banged-up brain.”

Mac collapsed, dropping his face into his hands. He groaned. Charlie placed a hand on his back, patting him slowly.

“For the record,” Dee began. “Has Dennis blown you, Mac?”

It was the wrong question to ask, she knew, and that’s why she asked it. Mac jerked upwards, nearly every seven deadly sins plastered on his face — certainly envy, of course some lust, ever-present wrath, and a healthy sprinkle of pride, etc. “He has not,” Mac stated. His words were clipped, as he was no doubt holding back a nasty word-vomit.

The front door opened. Dee held a breath, expecting to see her brother walk-in and observe the madness that unfolded as Mac confronted him, but Frank wandered in to her disappointment. Dee and Mac huffed in unison as Charlie greeted Frank.

\---

Mac knew Bonnie Kelly kept had a photo album with pictures of the gang in high school. Mac’s collection went up in flames along with the apartment a few years back, so it was time to pay a visit to his mom and Mrs. Kelly.

\---

Charlie got a call from his mom, asking him to remind Mac to bring back the photo albums he borrowed, and Charlie didn’t bother to ask if she knew _why_ Mac had borrowed them. He knew the answer would pop up soon enough.

“Tell Mac to get out of the office!” Frank exclaimed. “I need a nap. I ate too many bananas, Charlie!”

“I told you we had enough. Sleep in a booth,” Charlie answered, gesturing with the blood-stained bat he was cleaning. 

“He’s been in there all afternoon!” Frank argued.

“What’s he doing in there?” Dee asked. 

“I dunno,” Frank said. “It looked like he had gay porno magazines.”

Dee pulled a face. “Gross. He knows he’s not supposed to jerk off in there.” She marched over to the office, Charlie scrambling to follow in case Mac made a mess in there that Charlie would inevitably have to clean up.

“It just doesn’t make any sense,” Mac was saying to himself as they entered.

He was fully clothed and he wasn’t looking at any pornographic material. He was flipping through the photo albums he had borrowed from Charlie’s mom. The one he was currently studying was flipped open to pages from their high school graduation.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dee questioned, less bite, more bewilderment.

Mac glanced up. “Oh, good! You guys would say this is a handsome 18-year-old, yes?” He held up a picture of Charlie and Mac in their graduation gowns, with his fingers covering Charlie.

“Yeah, dude, sure,” Charlie answered.

“A bit baby-faced, I know,” Mac admitted as if it was a grand revelation. “But, I mean, if you’re going around offering head to every your guy your age, surely this would be a face you offered to, hmm?”

“Mac,” Dee stated, placing her hands on her hips. “Get to the point.”

“If the entire frat got blown, and Charlie almost got blown, then why didn’t I get blown?” Mac’s hands gestured wildly as he asked the question, his voice raising with each point.

Charlie and Dee stared silently with wide eyes.

\---

Dennis doesn’t remember blowing Eric Graff, if he’s being honest, but Eric certainly did. It was flattering, the way Eric’s eyes lit up when he spotted Dennis. He remembered Eric being a douche in college, but time had mellowed him. He had a hot wife, too, judging by his Facebook profile.

When Dennis sent him a message inviting him to Paddy’s Pub for a free beer and chat, he rationalized it as wanting to be friendly to an old friend. In truth, he wanted to feel the thrill go up his spine when Eric complimented Dennis’ sexual prowess. 

Dennis didn’t think back on his college days often. It was mostly boring, for all his talk about what a legend he was. Any action Dennis managed to get with girls was shitty and awkward. He blew the first guy, his name forever lost to Dennis, for a dare. He was drunk and the blonde babe he’d been trying to land all night wasn’t going his way so…

Dennis _wasn’t_ gay. He wasn’t. He just gave good head. The rumor spread and suddenly Dennis’ mouth was a valued prize and all anyone with a dick was talking about. It would be selfish not to reward a lonely frat brother stuck in a dry spell, especially Dennis was drunk on cheap beer that was definitely spiked with something else. Dennis liked the compliments, the attention, the way he could get every guy in the room hard at eight in the morning by eating a banana for breakfast. It was a stupid habit to pick up, sure, but it didn’t mean Dennis was gay.

When Dennis arrived at the bar late in the evening, Eric was already there along with a few other familiar faces, more former frat brothers. He hadn’t expected Eric to be so quick to accept the invitation, but he couldn’t complain.

Dee was tending to them. Mac was sitting on the opposite side of the bar, staring warily at the guests. Oh, great. Mac was going to be weird tonight.

“Dennis!” Eric shouted with a wave.

Dennis smiled as he was reintroduced to his former college friends. All his memories of them were fuzzy, either due to alcohol or Dennis forcing the thoughts from his brain. Because being the _gay one_ in a college frat wasn’t always exciting. He got his fair share of slurs hurled his way. It’s why he was so insulted by the graffiti on his picture when he let his delusions get to him and he decided to visit the fraternity during the Flipadelphia fiasco, and why he wasn’t initially happy to see Eric Graff while he was out shopping with _Mac_ , of all people. It was still the 90s and wasn’t sunshine and rainbows, ha, for gay men.

Not that Dennis was gay.

“I really ought to thank you, Dennis,” one of the guys saying. Dennis barely recognized him. He was severely balding with a thick beard and Dennis knew the guy said his name five seconds ago but Dennis didn’t care.

“Why’s that?” Dennis asked, humoring Baldie with a grin.

“You’re the reason I was able to admit to myself that I’m gay,” Baldie explained. “Me and Robert Witkin started dating our senior year. We finally got married back in 2014. Without you, I don’t think we would have ended up together.”

Dennis’ throat went dry. He couldn’t put a face to the name Robert Witkin, but he’d bet he was another frat brother. 

“Huh, you and Bobby? That’s great. Congratulations,” Dennis said through his teeth as he ignored how much his throat stung as he spoke.

“I noticed you don’t have a ring,” Baldie commented. “No one’s managed to snag Dennis Reynolds yet?”

“Oh, I was. Fell apart quickly,” Dennis answered.

“Well, was he handsome at least?” Baldie asked.

“No. _She_ wasn’t.”

Dennis hated how everyone at the table seemed to lose the ability to speak or breathe, hated how much his throat continued to burn, hated the sight of thinning hair and a stupid silver band wrapped around a thick finger.

“Ah,” Eric stated. “So what your friend said is true. You’re straight.”

Dennis nodded, narrowing his eyes at the table.

Baldie placed a hand on Dennis’ shoulder and Dennis fought the urge the shake it off. “Listen, I don’t want to… overstep, but you don’t have to hide behind drinking anymore. You can be yourself, whatever that is.”

Dennis didn’t know what the fuck he was because he never allowed himself to think about it. He pushed it down, deep down, so deep down he honestly forgot about it. He didn’t want to think about it. He preferred the numbness, hated the burn. 

Fuck this. He invited Eric to Paddy’s for an ego boost, not this shit.

“Enough about me,” Dennis said, attempting to lift the mood. “I want to hear more about what you guys have been up to. I’m sure it’s more interesting! And I’ll get you all another round on me.”

\---

Part of Mac felt like he had just received the last jigsaw piece to the grand picture of Dennis Reynolds, but when Mac stepped back to admire the view, he found it to be an even blurrier mess of a picture than before. 

Mac watched as the old frat brothers finally filed out of the bar, Dennis waving them out with a fake smile and tired eyes. Mac was going to confront him here and now, with Charlie, Frank, and Dee here in case things went south. Mac was never good at confronting Dennis. 

“Den,” Mac stated, immediately failing to be casual as Dennis collected empty glasses and bottles.

Dennis’ jaw clenched and unclenched. “Not now, dude.”

“No,” Mac replied. “Right now.”

Dennis collapsed over the table, resting on his elbows. He let out a long sigh. “Fine. Shoot.”

“Are you gay?”

“Of course not,” Dennis answered, glaring at Mac. “Any more stupid questions?”

“Why not me?” 

“What?” Dennis snapped.

“Why didn’t you blow me?” Mac questioned again.

“Jesus Christ, Mac!” Dennis exclaimed. “Really? This is what you were dying to ask me? You’re pathetic!”

“Maybe,” Mac said. He stopped Dennis as he tried to escape the conversation to clean up the bar. “You still didn’t answer the question.”

Dennis looked down at Mac’s hand pressed squarely into his chest. “It was twenty years ago, dude. I don’t fucking remember.”

“Bullshit,” Mac said. He refused to believe it, not because Dennis showed any of his usual signs of lying, only because Mac _needed_ an explanation. “Why did you try to do it with Charlie?”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Great. Gossiping about me behind my back? Did Charlie tell you all about how I got on my knees and wrapped my lips around his cock, only to be interrupted by your dumbass screaming?”

“So you do remember some things from twenty years ago!” Mac replied, his frustration mounting at the images flashing in his head after Dennis spilled graphic details.

“Why are you turning this into something?” Dennis shouted, shoving away Mac’s hand. “This is nothing! This is a stupid habit I picked up to keep myself from being thrown out of the goddamn frat house. If I was actually gay I’d still be doing it and _yeah Mac_ I would totally suck your cock but _I’m not_ so keep your dick in your pants and stop fucking interrogating me.”

“Wait, Den, calm down—” Mac raised his hand to stop Dennis again.

Dennis pointed an empty beer bottle towards Mac. “Touch me and I’ll split your head open again!”

Mac was stunned enough by the threat to let Dennis charge past him, heading straight for the back office. He heard the door slam shut as he stood frozen in place. 

“That went well,” Dee stated.

Mac squeezed his eyes closed. “Shut up bird.”

\---

Dennis stared at the office wall for an hour before someone had the guts to knock on the door. He made an affirmative noise and the door swung open to reveal—

Dee.

Dennis ignored the feeling of disappointment.

“That went well,” Dee stated.

Dennis refocused his eyes on the blank wall. “Shut up bird.”

“I have been an agreeable, silent older sister for over forty years, Dennis, but it’s time that you and I talk about this,” Dee said as she moved a chair opposite Dennis and settled into it.

“Okay, first, I would never call you agreeable or silent in any circumstances,” Dennis began. “Second, I think we could go another forty years without having this particular conversation.”

“You really wanna die the person you are today?” Dee questioned.

“You’re being dramatic,” Dennis said, eyes still fixed on the wall even with Dee’s face in front of him.

“Look at me!” Dee snapped. “Dennis, I do not care if I’m being dramatic. What do you call the scene you put on an hour ago? Huh? That was dramatic, that was pathetic. You realize that even _Mac_ can see right through you now.”

Dennis swallowed, shifting his gaze to his sister’s wrinkled face. “Whatever. Mac was being ridiculous. I know he’s obsessed with me but—”

“No, Dennis! Mac was not being ridiculous. He asked a few simple questions—”

“They were invasive! We were in public! He could have asked them—”

“At your apartment? So you could ignore him and lock yourself in your room until this whole thing blows over? And you have no right calling Mac _obsessed with you._ You’re the one who’s been leading him on for years!”

“What? I’ve been — god, that’s rich! I’ve made it very clear to Mac that I have no interest in him,” Dennis argued.

Dee shook her head. “Fine, whatever, I don’t care. I’m not here to talk about Mac. I’m here to talk about you and your repressed homosexuality.”

Dennis flinched. “I’m not — Deandra, you’re delusional.”

“Yes, I’m delusional to think my brother — who made out with my first boyfriend, who has sucked off more guys than I have, who reveled in male attention when Paddy’s was momentarily turned into a gay bar, who has lived with a gay man desperately in love with him for over a decade, who wears makeup—”

“Okay, don’t get stereotypical,” Dennis cut her off. “Me wearing makeup has nothing to do with my sexuality. And I didn’t make out with Ethan Cushing, it was Tommy Williams.”

“Forgive me,” Dee replied with a roll of her eyes. “My second boyfriend.”

“He used way too much tongue, by the way. I don’t know how you were with him for three months.”

“Would have been longer if I hadn’t caught him kissing my brother!”

“Whatever. It wouldn’t have lasted that long considering he was gay.”

“But you’re not,” Dee stated with a flat, unamused tone.

“No, I’m not.”

“Why do you care? Mac had all that Catholic guilt but why do you care so much that you’re straight? You don’t give a shit that Mac’s gay, or that anyone else is.”

Dennis chewed on his cheek as he thought of a witty remark. He couldn’t think of anything. He couldn’t think of a decent lie either. He leaned back in his chair, deciding he could at least let a bit of the truth slip out. “I wasn’t exactly treated the best when the rumors got around.”

“I believe you. But we’re not a frat. We’re not gonna kick you out of the Gang because you’re gay.”

“I know. It’s just — once I was out of college, I figured it would be in my best interest to stuff it down, deep inside. And then, I dunno, the lies felt like the truth after a while.”

“This is your chance to come clean, Dennis. To come out. And fine, if you’re still not ready, that’s okay. I’ll wait. We will all wait. We waited for Mac, we’ll wait for you. I didn’t want to have this conversation, really. I hate talking about feelings with you. But it seemed like you were drowning in denial and needed someone to pull you out.”

Dennis closed his eyes, feeling his throat sting again. He hated that she was right, he hated that she’s known this _forever_ , he hated that it took Mac freaking out about a missed opportunity for a BJ for them to finally sit down and talk like adults.

“I hate you,” Dennis whispered.

Dee smiled, placing a hand on Dennis’. “I hate you too.”

\---

Mac paced around their apartment for an hour before he decided he was heading back to Paddy’s. He was able to calm down, play the day back in his head, and decided he needed to talk to Dennis again, now, before Dennis decided to sleep at Paddy’s or Dee’s and never set foot in the apartment again.

They had worse fights, ones that ended with actual physical fights, but this one… seemed off.

“Dennis!” Mac called out as he stepped into the bar. Charlie and Frank were sitting in a booth with a bunch of unripe bananas. He looked to the back office to see Dee and Dennis stepping out of out. “Dennis!” he repeated as he hurried over to his friend.

He wasn’t sure what happened next, but he does remember Charlie shouting his name and his body falling forward before everything went black.

\---

“That’s a stupid idea, Frank. It would never work,” Dennis argued.

“It will! We just need a few more bananas and me and Charlie will be raking it in!” Frank replied, elbowing Charlie as he said his name.

Charlie paid little attention to Dennis and Frank’s argument. He kept his focus on Mac, lying silently in the hospital bed with a bandaged head.

“What if he doesn’t remember us?” he asked Dee, who was also ignoring her brother and Frank.

“Don’t worry,” Dee said. “You heard the doc. He’ll be fine.”

“But there’s a _chance_.”

“This whole operation will be a financial loss, anyway,” Dennis was saying in the background. “Because you’re paying Mac’s medical bills.”

“I ain’t paying shit!”

“Yes, you are!”

“I wish I could forget you guys,” Dee huffed.

Charlie leaned forward when he saw Mac’s eyelids twitch. “Everyone shut up! He’s waking up!”

Dennis and Frank rushed to the other side of the bed, all four of them leaning over Mac as his eyes fluttered open. His brown eyes wandered across each of their faces. “What the hell happened?” he croaked. “My head fucking hurts.”

Dennis nodded. “I would expect that. You cracked your head open like a coconut.”

“Again?” Mac groaned. “How?”

“You slipped on a banana peel, dude. Your head smashed into the edge of the countertop,” Charlie explained. “You’re good though, yeah? You remember us.”

“‘Course I remember you assholes,” Mac replied before letting out another pained groan. “Fuck, I need meds. Someone get a nurse.”

\---

Charlie and Frank head out first, after Frank begrudgingly agrees to pay Mac’s bills. He was the one that threw the peel onto the floor, it’s only fair. Dee was next, telling Mac and Dennis not to kill each other while they were alone.

“You don’t have to stay,” Mac said once the door closed behind Dee. “I’m fine. They’ll let me go tomorrow.”

Dennis shifted in the chair he had pulled to the bedside. “No, I wanna—” he cleared his throat. “I want to stay. We should talk.”

“Right,” Mac nodded, recalling why he had rushed into Paddy’s. “I’m sorry.”

“I have — wait, what?” Dennis’ blue eyes went wide. “Did you just apologize?”

“Yes,” Mac replied, staring down at his lap. “I’m sorry, man. I was being an ass. You’re right, that was twenty years ago and I thought maybe, y’know, and I got my hopes up.”

Dennis didn’t reply immediately. The silence pained Mac almost as much as the throbbing in his head. “I’m gay,” he stated.

Mac sat up a little straighter, which was a mistake, his head exploded into pain and he fell backward into the pillows.

“Jesus, Mac, don’t hurt yourself again,” Dennis said, his voice not sounding as casual as he probably intended.

“Are you coming out right now?” Mac asked. “Like, this isn’t a joke?”

“It’s not a joke,” Dennis deadpanned. “I’m gay. I like dudes. I suck cock.”

“So I’ve heard,” Mac joked. “Whoa, this is awesome! We can go to the Rainbow together and watch gay movies on movie night and rate beefcakes that come into the bar! Does the DENNIS system work on guys too? We should get boyfriends so we can go on a double date! A gay double date would be amazing!”

“You want me to get a boyfriend?” Dennis questioned.

“Yeah! Both of us!” Mac eagerly replied.

“Mac,” Dennis stated. “Do you want to know why I never… blew you?”

Mac gaped at Dennis. “Uh, yeah, sure. Except if it’s because you think I’m unattractive. I don’t want to know that.”

Dennis chuckled. “You’re a total beefcake.”

“Really? Is it because you like twinks?”

Dennis was bemused at that question. “Dude, you were a total twink in college.”

“So you don’t like twinks?”

“It has nothing to do with my possible attractions to twinks,” Dennis replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, let me get to the point.”

Mac firmly shut his mouth.

“Thank you,” Dennis sighed. “I’ve always known you were gay. In college, I only messed around with straight guys. Or who I assumed to be straight. Turns out a few of them were gay.”

“You didn’t want to have gay sex with gay guys?” Mac attempted to clarify.

“No, that’s not — okay, I didn’t mean — it would have been too real with you,” Dennis stuttered.

Mac was lost, so he quietly waited for Dennis to continue.

“Listen, Mac, I’m shit at relationships. I’m shit at feelings. I hate feeling. And you — you’re my closest friend. I knew if I had sex with you, it probably wouldn’t be a one-time thing. But we were both so far in the closet, man. It would have never worked. And risking our friendship seemed stupid. So I never offered.”

Mac could feel the warmth of hope blossoming in his chest. “Do you have feelings… for me?”

Dennis smiled, but it was defeated and tired and made Mac worried he had said the wrong thing. “Yes. I have lots of feelings for you. Too much. Sometimes you make me feel like I’m going to burn up from the inside. It scares me, how much you make me feel.”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Mac said. “Not on purpose, at least. I have feelings for you too, but you probably knew that. I promise, Dennis, your feelings won’t be wasted on me.”

“I know,” Dennis replied. “I’m sorry too.”

“For what?”

“Making you wait.”

Mac frowned. “Don’t be.”

Dennis’ eyes were bloodshot and his chest rose and fell quickly. Mac outstretched his arms and Dennis instantly moved into the offered hug.

“It’s okay,” he whispered into Dennis’ curls.

\---

In the morning, Dennis almost expected to wake up to find the past day had been a dream. It wasn’t. He woke up disoriented, crammed into a hospital with Mac’s arms around him. Mac was already awake and staring at him, a puppy-eyed smile on his face.

“That’s super creepy,” Dennis’ sleep-ridden voice croaked.

“I don’t care,” Mac replied. “I’m super in love with you.”

Dennis shoved his face into Mac’s neck and muttered, “Same.”

“You still owe me a blowjob,” Mac teased.

“Really?” Dennis mouthed into Mac’s skin. “Want it right now?”

“No. I’m crazy numb. Can’t even feel my toes,” Mac explained.

“How’s the head feel?”

“Better.”

Dennis hummed, pulling back to meet Mac’s gaze. He placed a hand on Mac’s cheek. “So sex is off the table but… can I kiss you?”

Mac looked so goddamn happy. “I’d love that, Dick Chugger.”

Dennis rolled his eyes and finally, finally, finally kissed Mac.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m @sapphicsunny on twitter. please talk to me about macden and always sunny.


End file.
